Man, I don't have any idea what that must feel like. I have been dumped, but never betrayed like that. You are justified in your ache, but like others have said, forgive, and don't let it fester. I have seen the result of wrongs unforgiven and it isn't pretty.

Here are a couple of anecdotes, (neither of which happened to me) along your same lines, that ended well.

A friend of mine was a wild child and his current wife's Seminary Teacher writes in her yearbook to stay away from him. He cleaned up and went on a mission. When he got home, there were 2 girls he wanted to look up: current wife and one other. Current wife came to the airport and knew when she saw him that his pre-mission repentance was for real and she was essentially committed at that point. He looked up the other, her parents told him she was at a friend's house. He goes there and she's drunk & naked in the pool. Story ends well for him: beautiful family, successful career, positive impact on others, and service in the church. So much for listenting to Seminary Teachers on life advice.

Second guy I knew in college was prepping for his mission, but his girlfriend doesn't want him to go. She wants him to stay and get married. He tells her he's committed to going on a mission. She gets preggers by some other guy and tells everyone its his. Stake Prez won't let him go until the baby is born and they can do a paternity test. Baby is born, and she's "shocked" to find that while she and my friend are blond with blue eyes, this child has dark skin, eyes and hair--which is as specific as I'll get here--not genetically impossible based on what I have said, but suffice it to say that it clearly wasn't his child. Stake Prez apologizes and he serves with honor. I lost touch with the guy, but he's bright and capable, and he doesn't carry that baggage with him. I am sure he's in good shape.

Bottom line in choosing a wife: Marry up. Make her settle. Of course, if you both feel like you married up, that's a really good match.

jhw5 wrote:

imuakahuku wrote:

I have to say, she is in a much tougher spot than you are. First, she is pregnant w/o any preperation (i.e. committed husband, stable home). I think you are the one better off. I had something like this happen to me in college. A close friend of mine asked me one day why I was dating another friend of mine "girlfriend". When I asked her about it she lied and said he was just a friend and that she had almost nothing to do with him. I trusted my first friend and just told her thanks but no thanks. Turns out she was pregnant from my second friend. He ended up breaking up with her a short time later because he found out she had been dating me and wasn't about to betray a friend. I look at my situation now and am so thankful that I didn't waste any more time with someone like that. A year later I met my beautiful wife and the rest is history.

Here is what I was blessed with. And we just added a fourth that looks just like his older brother. I have to say, when you live your life right on and off the field magical things happen. :)

Uh, maybe. But they're all wearing red...:ohmy:

Never thought of that! It was one of our xmas pics. I look at it as Kahuku red. A completely different shade of red. Kahuku red is not "sackless"!

Ah man that has to hurt. I have a close friend who did not find out until AFTER he had been married in the temple...suffice it to say, it was wrenching...And then getting a temple divorce and,in his mind, becoming known as a "divorcee," was quite difficult. The best advice has already been said--forgive and move on. People who do not forgive let the offender continue to have sway and power. Forgiveness removes that power. I wish you well

Cougfan84 wrote:

Im thinkin ill go buy me some DiGiorno pizza and eat the whole thing...

Man, I do this on a regular basis. I didn't know it was for drowning sorrows.

My wife and I just split up after seven years of marriage. It sucks. It hurts terribly. There are several issues that I won't go into here, but suffice it to say, that even if both people love eachother, that is not enough to make things work out. Committment and dedication to the relationship need to be there from both sides.

The only advise that I have for you is to not get involved with anyone right away. Even if you meet the most perfect girl, make sure she is and that you are not just wanting the feelings to be real. Made the mistake of getting involved with someone too early, realized that I was projecting feelings on to her, and had to break up with her, causing more pain to myself (because I actually cared about this person, just didn't love them) and the other person.

stuckinbig10country wrote:

My wife and I just split up after seven years of marriage. It sucks. It hurts terribly. There are several issues that I won't go into here, but suffice it to say, that even if both people love eachother, that is not enough to make things work out. Committment and dedication to the relationship need to be there from both sides.

The only advise that I have for you is to not get involved with anyone right away. Even if you meet the most perfect girl, make sure she is and that you are not just wanting the feelings to be real. Made the mistake of getting involved with someone too early, realized that I was projecting feelings on to her, and had to break up with her, causing more pain to myself (because I actually cared about this person, just didn't love them) and the other person.

I'm sorry to hear that man. That's some rough stuff.

I'm glad that you figured out that stuff about yourself with getting involved with someone too early before it was too late.

I wish may dad could figure that out, he just got remarried again for the second time in a year (he's on his 3rd marriage now, they knew each other for about a month . . .Craziness! -- I know sometimes knowing each other for that long can work out, but for someone who had only be re-divorced for 2 months and someone who has 3 out of 4 kids under 18 it is insanity!)