(it's a joke.....a message to the proverbial holier-than-thou reply)
This is just in jest so dont' freak out (you know who you are, that I have to even say this)
laughter is the best medicine......
If you want to do something that will have results:
1. Make sure that bishop doesn't have any athletes in his ward, if he does and you live in Utah county, take him to church or document his attendance elsewhere
2. Take every athlete to their bishop during family home evening, etc. and have them "ask for a calling" while you videotape it
3. Recruit all non-lds athletes so we don't have to worry about it

especially catholics, since they only go to church twice a year at best
4. Photograph that bishop spending tithing money on his backyard swimming pool
5. Make every bishop take an essay entitled "why the spirit of the law is most important."
6. Allow students to attend church via podcast
7. Get a doctors note that the kid is allergic to wooden church pews or coeds in denim overall skirts
8. Give the kid's parents a discount on their tithing if they make sure he shows up
9. Warn the kid that if he doesn't show up for church, he'll have to attend the U of U
10. Make the kid wear an electric ankle brace that shocks him if he's not within 50 feet of his bishop on Sundays